It's a new world here at Value wIT.  Starting today, I'm ditching my car (mostly), but with a family and a job, I'm scared it won't work. Honestly, I'm scared I'll sweat like a whore in church and my hair will look bad...if you are one of those people who want to know the real truth. 

For the next month (assuming I last that long) I'll be blogging about life in a sweltering hot Texas town with no car.  Aside from my fright about the heat, the most daunting aspect of this prospect is how I will transport fish and ice cream to my house. Uh, and to be totally honest, I'm scared of being cut off from my friends and showing up at a meeting wearing something less than professional with yellow sweat rings under the arms.

Hatin' The Car

Earlier this summer I decided to interject myself and my yet-to-be-clued-in family as guinea pigs for an experiment.

Driving a car causes problems for me, like (embarrassingly) I experience road rage and scream vile (but creative) combinations of obscene phrases to other drivers. As you might know, my tirades often evolve into sorted parking situations and my self-important desire to park wherever I please costs a pretty penny in parking fines. 

Doing It For the Mayor

Austin mayor’s constant encouragement for citizens to move downtown and ditch their cars has made an impact on me. I moved downtown and now I'm giving up my car. (Did you believe that? Sucka)

This summer I lived in an urban city that required no car and walking was lovely. However, my vacation city was not scalding hot and humid like Austin, Texas. Oh, and the town made an effort to accommodate pedestrians. Austin is trying, but the public transportation consists of nothing more than a bus system with low ridership. Furthermore, when I spent the summer with no car, I had no pressing need to haul my children all over town or race to meetings.

Give It Up, Baby!

No matter that there is no grocery store within two miles of my house, I'm going to give up the car for one month.  However, realistically, unless I quit my job and homeschool my children, I probably cannot completely survive without the car. So, my compromise is giving up the car four out of seven days a week.

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Will I Be Ugly?

Seriously, I think life without a car might change the way I look!  For instance, this very minute I am wearing a superbly stunning pair of strappy orange sandals. If I were to walk several blocks in these shoes my feet would fall off. These shoes ain’t made for walking – they are made for sauntering down the stairs and amusing my husband. 

Will I slowly but surely trade in my high-heeled shoes for SAS Factory Shoes?  Truly, when I wear these sandals, I feel emotionally secure. I feel tall, skinny and confident.  There is no way you can fuck with me when these shoes are on my feet. Also, if I were to be attacked I could remove the shoe and use the heel to beat a hole in my attacker.

My eyes are starting to tear. The thought of wearing practical shoes makes me feel self-doubt and reminds me of being ten years old and trying to impress Peanut Shepard.  My grandmother, who was colorblind, forced me to wear orange and white houndstooth shorts with a pink Hollie Hobbie smock-top. I loved Peanut Shepard, and the prospect of trying to woo him in such an inferior outfit forced me to hide in the barn at my cousin’s house. My self-esteem was not evolved enough to win the affection of Peanut in bad clothes.

How can I confidently stride into a client's office and command new business while wearing lace-up shoes?  Will I have to carry my other shoes in a bag and change in the elevator?  Gee, I guess we can add BAG into the equation. My tiny Prada bag isn’t going to work either.  Well, don’t you worry – I’ll figure it out.  Just remember, this isn’t New York City, and I’m not Carry Bradshaw hailing a taxi. Austin is like Birmingham or Asheville or Oklahoma City. Taxis don't zip down the street. BUT, I have my new iPhone and can speed dial a cab. Plus, I have a mighty imagination and can dig up some comfy, cute shoes. You just wait. (Comment with any shoe ideas, really.)

Why I’m Different?

Isn’t it just like someone with two cars and the option of going car-less to think they are different and need an exemption! Ha. 

Guess the experiment might make me different than my peers who will be driving their kids to soccer and school. Typically, when the weekly soccer game ends, I freak-out and race my precious peas home and into bed for plenty of beauty rest.  Will I be carrying a toddler and dragging a 6-year old .7 miles from the soccer field to the bus stop and waiting in the dark to catch the bus? What if my friend offers me a ride? Should I take it? Would that be against my rules? Maybe I’ll set aside soccer day as a car day.

Are you ready?

I planned to start this project in September, but quite by accident, I started today. Last night after a long weekend of debauchery with my long-lost high school friends (truly one of the best times of my life) I get to the Austin airport near midnight only to find my car battery dead. Sleep deprivation and exhaustion prevented me from dealing with problem and forced me to leave the car and taxi home to my bed. Today, the dirty job of retrieving the car consumed my day. 

TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE FIRST INSTALLMENT...HERE'S A TEASER:

DAY ONE ON THE BUS

Rather than pay another $35 cab fare, I took the Airport Flyer for .50.  My idea was to take the kids for a fun bus ride, but obviously they are smarter than I am and opted to stay in our air-conditioned home with the housekeeper.  Since it is hotter than the blue blazes of hell, I decided to wear a halter top (sounds trashy, but it was cute – take my word).  The bus stop was about six blocks from my house. Not bad...

Comments

[Polly Poppins]

However this turns out, Bitsy, just know my eyebrows would have been raised anyway...

Also, I'm worried. Have you stocked up on those little makeup/oil blotter papers, baby powder, and extra strong deodorant. And don't forget the sunblock. Oh, and bug spray.

Also, you'll probably want a broad brim hat. And stick with the sensible shoes: they scream "I'm not, even in your wildest imagination, a hooker" and when you're on a two-mile inner-city hike, that's the look you probably want.

Not that I judge.

[Jazz]

Ok, babe. Seriously? Are you going to do this? I will cheer you on and even give you shoe suggestions (zappos.com) and I will encourage you to get one of those large totes (LL Bean) to have your shoes and work top in. Oh and all the other stuff Polly mentions above. Any chance you could save this experiment for a cooler month?

Good luck!