(1869 This corset was worn by nursing mothers and if you want to buy a pattern go here. However, the waist size is 18 inches and the bust 32 inches.)

Don’t tell anyone but I hide two obscene breasts under my shirt, and I used them to fed my babies. Apparently, nursing mothers repulse a growing number of American citizens who want mothers to nurse in secrecy. The point of Value wIT's secrets post from yesterday was missed. Though the secrets that readers shared were deep, moving and heartfelt, the aim of the post was to note quirky secrets that unknowingly burden families. Forcing mothers to hide nursing is exactly the type of secret Value wIT was trying to uncover. A certain amount of shame is heaped upon a mother who is forced to hide when she nurses her baby, and it's that type of shame that seems small but eventually multiplies and creates a nagging emotional drain that is difficult to pinpoint.

MySpace and now Facebook have continually removed a photograph of a nursing baby from a member’s site noting that the picture violated their obscenity rules. This backward logic forces women into the proverbial closet where they are encouraged to sneak and hide what is a completely normal activity. The actions of MySpace, Facebook, movie theaters, airlines and restaurants twist breastfeeding into an act of shame and retard the emotional development of society as a whole.

Secrets are used to divide people and assign individuals to sides.  And, God knows, I love a good secret, but are Americans dumb enough to fall for this? Let’s hope not! In the case of making breastfeeding a secretive process I’m afraid that anyone who agrees that nursing babies is a natural act and not a sexual act is assigned to the left while detractors are given a morality stamp and assigned to the right.

Surely anyone reading this blog is not backward enough to throw nursing mothers under the train. If you are, then I have a red tent and a menstrual shed for sale with your name on it.

To read or write other essays about this issue go to Moms Speak Up. Here is a message from Izzy, the founder of Moms Speak Up: 

I’m asking for all of you (You DON’T have to be a mom OR a parent OR a woman) to take action by writing a post on one or both of these topics. The links above reference more information on both topics. After you’ve written your post, let me know so I can link you here and over at the group blog Moms speak Up.

Read Izzy's full post here, and read Izzy's recent and ENRAGING addition to that post:

Alex Elliot just informed me that recently a Harvard med student was denied permission for nursing breaks during her exit exams.

Yes, a HARVARD MED SCHOOL (as in that illustrious institution where they make doctors who are, apparently only in theory, supposed to CARE ABOUT HUMAN HEALTH) student and mother of a 4 month old was denied adequate break time to pump during medical Board exams.

They felt justified in this decision because “because breastfeeding accommodations are not protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act.”

SO WHAT? It’s still totally antithetical to the whole notion of protecting and improving human health which is a pretty important part of being a doctor, no?

You can read the NY Times article here but you’ll have to login or register for free access.

Comments

[Kimberly]

This breastfeeding business has got me hot under the maidenform as well. I wish I were still nursing so I could see how many places around here I could get kicked out of.

It's the men, you know. It makes them uncomfortable so they push it into this little dirty box. I'm guessing that they were all formula fed and are still bitter about it.

[hokgardner]

I'm probably going to open myself up to awful comments by writing this, but really, are people that discriminatory about breastfeeding? I've nursed all three of my kids for a year each and out in the open all sorts of places - the most unusual was probably during the Duck Boat Tour of Austin. And in all of those three years, I have never had anyone give me a nasty look when I nursed a baby in public. I would have loved for someone to challenge me so that I could have taken a stand for the rights of nursing moms, but I just never had a problem with it.

I'm about a week away from completely weaning my third baby - maybe there's still hope for me to cause a scene somewhere.

[VDog]

I wrote about this on Sunday. It's called, "Boycott Bill Maher!" (heheheh)

I'm very glad that hokgardner has had a positive experience while nursing in public however, many don't.

I live in one of THE MOST LIBERAL cities in the US, and here I have still gotten some dirty looks. Not that those looks would make me stop nursing, but some women might bring a bottle the next time.

It's important that we write about this issue and all of our eperiences -- negative and positive -- so that breastfeeding is more socially acceptable than it is now.

[bitsy parker]

Hokgardner and I live in the same town. Hokgardner, make use of this last week of nursing and go to dinner in South Austin or Westlake and see if you get any stares.

P.S. Just watched the Bill Maher commentary and was sickened. I was so mistaken that Maher's hatred was only for unjust causes, it's for women too. Pig. Really regretting paying $180 last year to see him.

[hokgardner]

I've disliked Bill M ever since I heard him expound on the joys of hanging out at the playboy mansion oogling barely dressed 18-year-olds. He only likes boobs if they're young and pert.

And I'm betting I might get some stares nursing a 1-year-old in some areas. Especially if BabyC pulls his usual trick of stopping mid-snack to chat with me. : )

[The Dol]

I nursed my daughter for 17 months and did it pretty much anywhere. I never did have any problems, but I think I also made it a point to not make eye contact with anyone, so they couldn't give me a nasty look.

What I loved was how judgmental people I knew could be about nursing--first, they were congratulatory that I was nursing ("It's so good for your baby!") but then it seemed like when we hit the one-year mark I was expected to stop. I had a couple of family members (a man, and a woman with no children) tell me that now that she had teeth she would start biting me and I needed to stop nursing.

I feel for women who bottle-feed, too, because I know they get all kinds of crap for not nursing. It's really hard to just get support from people when you have kids--everyone has an opinion, and somehow they always think it's appropriate to voice it.

[bitsy parker]

People and their opinions. When a sentence is started with, "I think you should..." I immediately tune out.

[Ashley]

I'm not really sure if it matters what those who don't have a hungry/tired/cranky baby think. My first son and I had a little issue with the blanket over his head when he was eating thing. I guess after trying to reassure the tiny little man that it was OK to eat under a blanket in public,I decided he was right. How silly can people really be? We nurse openly everywhere and honestly most mothers are too tired already from "all the joys of motherhood" to have to worry about who is unpleased with a child nursing.

A big problem with our culture is the lack of support from our communities when a mother needs breaks for breastfeeding or pumping during those demanding first months of human life. You are expected to be multidemensional and yet remain linear. You are expected to be a mother at home, a focused employee during your shift and a student in class. Mothering is not linear, it is an all incompassing circle of activities and expectations. You can't simply slip your other duties off at the door. In the case of being a nursing mother it couldn't be more true, if only I could slip my breasts off and be on my way.

The problem is really with us. We are always finding ways of fullfilling our childrens needs, as well as our communities expectations. The level of effiency required is enough to make anyone crazy. Moms Rock! Most of us find a way to keep it all together.

I for one am going to save my self from an early grave (thanks to keeping it all together)And break the cycle of being perfect for all those other eyes.

I will breastfeed openly.

Stop being down on myself for my lack of eye candy statis with men. My breasts have nourished the lives of two beautiful boys, what's more eye catching than that?

Give up trying to change the expectations others put on me. Instead, I'll change my own expectations.

Breastfeeding isn't the only obstacle parents face.It is an interesting one though.