What if someone gave you 72 working hours (not including sleep time)  and $3,360?  Would you be excited?  Well, I just gave myself that gift and it feels really good.

Officially, my family is skipping Christmas 2007.  Sounds like a big deal, and to my mother, mother-in-law, neighbors and possibly the retail world, it is. To me, however, it isn’t quite the rest at the Mount Sinai Hospital that I yearn to take, but it’s a start.

Last year after Christmas I wrote:

Next year, as I indicated in a story about the 20+ hours I spent hand-sewing ribbon onto Christmas cards, my family is skipping the Christmas folderol.  Let’s tally how many hours and how much cash we’ll save:

1. Decorating house – 2 hours, $100 on greenery, candles, etc. The numerous RubberMaid containers in storage hold the items already purchased that are used year to year.
2. Christmas tree – 8 hours, $40. It took seven hours to put the lights on our tree this year. No joke.  We use ten strands of lights and typically about four of those strands have to be replaced.
3. Baking – 6 hours, $200. This year I spent $48.52 on 2 tbs of Calvodos brandy that was required for a recipe.
4. Toys for Tots – 1 hour, $120.
5. Presents – oh, so many hours, 8, conservatively, $2,000.
6. Wrapping – 6 hours, $100.
7. Taking down decorations – 3 hours, $100, cost of the lamp replacement that was broken in screaming fight that occurred because of holiday stress.
8. Thank you notes, 5 hours, $50 for personalized stationary. Try overseeing a 5-year old as she painstakingly sounds out, “thank you for the kaleidoscope.”
9. Christmas cards, 20 hours of sewing, 4 hours of addressing, 2 hours making list and crossing off the decreased, divorced or too distant, $300.
10. Holiday photos, 2 hours, $200.
11.  Santa presentation and family meal on Christmas day, 3 hours, $200 for family of 15.
12. Holiday clothes for children, 4 hours, $150.  The children never have anything that fits at holiday time and it always seems like they need new shoes, dress, etc. It adds up.

These tasks and hours are just off the top of my head. I am sure I am forgetting the card and cash to the newspaper delivery guy, church sexton, hair cutter, babysitter, etc.  Conservatively I spent $3,360, and 72 hours on Christmas this year. 

Gee, 72 hours is three entire days that I could give myself to choose how I spend my time, and $3,360, according to the local Food Bank will pay for 17,000 meals. Without cooking, I could feed a family of three people three meals a day for five years.

Usually, the day after Thanksgiving – who am I kidding, the night of Thanksgiving – I begin decorating my house for Christmas.  I’ve talked myself into the idea that decorating is fun. Is it? I mean, really.  Would taking a family walk or doing shooters from a naked table dancer be more fun than twisting broken lights around an itchy tree?  I’ll let you know.

So far:

• No trips to attic to fetch Christmas storage have been made.
• No boxes have been dragged across polished wood floors leaving scuff marks.
• No Radko ornaments have been broken while unpacking stored boxes.
• No trips have been made to buy thousands of tiny white lights.
• No spousal fights over decorating skills have occurred.
• No children have been scolded for touching precious heirloom ornaments.
• No carpal tunnel from attempting calligraphy on 300 holiday cards has flared.
• No postal official has been demeaned for smart-alecness – hence, general public safety has been secured.
• No crack has been smoked.

I’ve opened an account at a local nursery and will be giving a tree or Fingerling plant (for the less horticulturaly inclined) to all on my gift list. Other than that, I am accepting interesting invitations to holiday parties and am happy to spread good cheer, but there will be no parties at my house. 

The morning after school dismisses, the fam is piling into the car and driving away to a borrowed house. (This would be a good time to rob my house, but Dick Cheney is staying here so it would be an unpleasant time to break and enter.)   The MIL thinks it’s awful that we have no tree for the little ones and will be ripping them away from good ‘ole Santa. 

Here’s the deal on Santa - he is a thief. Santa steals time, money, imagination and maybe even character.

Take this quiz:

1. During three weekends preceding Christmas, I would rather:
    a. Wrap presents each Sunday
    b. Get a pedicure and see a movie

2. On Christmas Eve, I would rather:
    a. Stay up late assembling Chinese toys and throw said toys against window
    b. Cozy-up with the husband and favorite method of birth control

3. During the middle of the night would you like to:
    a. Sleep
    b. Toss and turn thinking that MIL will hate selected gift

4. On Christmas Eve-Eve you think it would be more fun to:
    a. Rework Christmas schedule to accommodate step-parents grandchildren’s acolyting schedule.
   b. Ski

5. After the big Christmas meal you want to:
    a. Watch kids ride their new bikes
    b. Hand wash all the china, silver and crystal and return it to its hiding place

This year Santa is not taking any of my time or money. Instead, I’m taking what is rightfully mine – a vacation.

   

Comments

[all things bd]

Oh, I'm so not with you on this (I am mad for all things Christmas) but I love that you're brave enough to buck everyone else's expectations and do your own thing. I toast you in your relaxed, stress free state.

Incidentally, we took a vacation from Thanksgiving, which is much more stressful for me than Christmas. Nothing like a cruise to Mexico to take the edge off!

[Shelly]

Do the kids get presents? If not, please tell me how you arranged that. I'm pretty sure presents are the only things Drew would miss.

And just for the record, I hate the whole Santa Claus myth. Yeah, yeah, bah humbug! Sue me! Why am I getting my kid excited about some creepy guy coming down our chimney while we sleep? Isn't this something I should be warning him to avoid? And isn't the fact that it is all a big lie going to come back and haunt me? And Santa only visits the "good" children. Excuse me, the "good, Christian" children. Does this seem a little mean to anyone but me?!

Sorry, I forgot this wasn't my blog just for a second! Have fun, Bits!

[Lela]

I wish we could take a vacation at Christmas and not have deal with it all! Alas we would have much guilt from Grandma's and my mil would insist we have Christmas when we get back.

[Avery]

Have fun! I'll be swilling the nog and decking the halls. I love this time of year!

[hokgardner]

We've downsized christmas so much in the past few years, and it makes like so much nicer. This year I'm not even making my own cards. ANd I just announced to my neighbors that instead of gifts, this year I'll be making donations to Coats for Kids in their names. They were all thrilled to hear they wouldn't be getting more useless holiday crap.

[OnlyinCharleston]

HA! Bitsy, gotcha this time. Haven't pulled out that big cardboard box on which xMas is written in giant red (appropriate) Sharpie permanent marker in say, 3 years.

We had a perfectly acceptable excuse....we renovated our house. Now it translates into just plain laziness after experiencing the bliss of 72 hours and 3 thousand some dollars. Ahhhhhhh. It's Christmas oh S(heaven).

[bitsy parker]

On Christmas Eve we're buying a couple of bikes at the local REI and calling it a day. That's it. Done.

The present of my unconditional love should be enough.

[Novembrance]

Oh, brava. I'm very impressed.

[FENICLE]

I admire your courage to do this. I would miss giving gifts. It's my favorite part of the season - watching friends & family open things I've picked out for them.

We've talked before about downsizing Christmas or trying to get back to it's real meaning. I'd love to take a vacation some year just with my husband and son and leave it all behind.

[cal gal]

I cannot believe you are going to pull this off--especially with family pressure! Then again, you managed the bus thing. Go, Bitsy, go! (My hubby is risking his neck in the attic retrieving Christmas stuff as we speak. Weird. Seems like we just went through this drill a month or two ago!)

[bitsy parker]

It is so difficult to "find the real meaning" through gifts. My husband and I recalled our favorite Christmases and best gifts as children and a gift does make an impact.

Perhaps in the past I have not been sure about the right gift and instead have used a slingshot approach which amounts to buying too much with the hope that something will be liked.

My love - wrapped in a box -- isn't enough, I guess. My husband seems to like that gift.

[Secret Agent Mama]

We are definitely down sizing Christmas this year. I wish I had the balls to do what you are doing. Seriously, yeah you are getting bad emails but you also get commendation from the likes of me!