My mother visited this weekend. In case you are looking for a general flavor of the visit, I will share a few of her comments, which all involve the word surprise:

“Your house is always so clean, which is why I was surprised to find the toilet in the guest room needing a scrub.”

“I was so surprised to see your new breakfast room. It’s just not like you to decorate and not put one pretty thing in the room.”

“I was surprised that only one beer was drunk at the party.  I thought the Mexican man would drink a beer.”

Comments

[Dar!]

LMAO
Well B, without contextual fluff~yer ma sounds a wee bit looney.
:P
Just Sayin'

[Kimberly]

LOL My mother just visited as well. We had this exchange:

"Mom, don;t look at the house. It's not clean. It was either sweep or grocery shop and the kids were hungry."

"Oh, that's okay. I take it as a compliment that you would let me see your house less than perfect!"

[Shelly]

I thought my mother had cornered the market on this type of left handed compliment. "Oh, Shelly, I like your new haircut! It looks SO much better than your last one!"

[all things BD]

Wow. That's awesome. I only get that stuff from my mother in law, and it's always recommendations for more cleaning products after she's looked around my house.

[Austin homeboy]

If my mother doesn't find something to carp about as soon as she sets foot in the house, I think she's slipping.

"Plant's dry!"

"When's the last time you mopped under this bed?"

BTW-- I'm 61. It doesn't get any better, y'all.

[Tonya]

My God! I didn't know we shared a mother!

I've learned that when my mother comes to always leave one, visible, Fatal Flaw. The sooner she finds it the sooner she can criticize me and we can all move on.

My favorite is the dirty stovetop. I don't care if I have to waste a pound of bacon when I hear her car in the drive, I fry something up and smear it around so she can find it right off.

If it's bad enough she'll clean it while she gripes - and that's a bonus.

It usually ivolves a speech about my children dying of scurvy or salmanella(?), but short of one of the little buggers dropping to the floor when she knocks on the door, it's really the fastest way to get it over with.

[hokgardner]

I'm fortunate that my mother doesn't make comments like this. Instead, she regales me with stories of friends of friends who have died in horrible, freak accidents. Like the woman who died after breathing toxic spores while turning her compost pile. And the man who was bending over picking up shells at the beach and got hit by a freak wave and fell and broke his neck.

Now, my mother-in-law, on the other hand, loves to make little comments like, "really, you vacuum every day?"