Value wIT

Modern Love

2008-06-01T12:33:09-05:00

Modern Love in the Sunday Styles section of NYTimes is always a favorite. Today I was so disappointed when I read the writer was a college student and a runner-up in the essay contest. Darn, I thought --it's like the Brady Bunch going to Hawaii -- a departure from the norm. Modern Love was jumping the shark and my Sunday was going to be ruined. However, much too my surprise, the piece was great. Go read about about Lee Connell's college boyfriend who decided to become homeless but failed because he was scared of the dark.

High School Musical

2008-05-31T21:56:52-05:00

When an invitation to a dance club party arrives, a person my age should decline, right? When I saw the invitation I was flattered to be included but tossed the invite into the “Respond in a week or so” pile. Usually by the time those invitations are visited a second time the event has passed. Super flattered to be invited, but no thank you, I’m an old woman and must pass. “Are you going to Pangea for (sweet friend)’s party?” Truly, Pillow Princess, I had not planned on going to the party until our telephone call, but when you told me you were wearing a maid’s uniform to the “Palm Beach, Texas” themed party, suddenly my schedule found an opening....

How Perfect is That Sarah Bird?

2008-05-28T16:33:09-05:00

Sarah Bird, who wrote Yokota Officers Club, Flamenco Academy and some other yummy books, has written a new book called How Perfect Is That. Can't wait to read the book that has a line saying:Ah, Pemberton Heights, the creamy-white filling squirting out of Austin’s exclusive Tarrytown Twinkie."For you real live Pemberton residents (all three of you) who read Value wIT, get over to Texas Monthly and read an excerpt from Sarah's book and see if you notice yourself. The rest of you, head to Book People on June 10th at 7:00 pm and hear Sarah talk about the book and get her to sign your copy. I'm going. I'll be the girl in the dark glasses.

Fear of Gear

2008-05-26T22:17:08-05:00

In celebration of Memorial Day, my lifelong friend invited my children and me to spend the holiday at a Galveston beach house with her, three of her college friends, their children and one of her clients and his family. In total there were 8 adults and 12 children. Rumor held that the house was big, but as I drove toward the beach I couldn’t help but wonder if the house could possibly be big enough to accommodate my fear of vacationing with strangers. Preparing for the trip, I performed my typical packing routine that yields a final product the size of a large purse and truly holds everything possibly needed for a trip. My tiny trunk was loaded with precision...

Skinny Mommies Beat the Heat by the Pool

2008-05-18T22:31:55-05:00

Summer’s hell has begun in Texas. Week before last the temperature soared just under 100 degrees, then last week the weather busted out with a tornado –glad we weren’t in the mobile home. Sunday morning is always a favorite. Getting up early to drink the perfect cup of coffee and read about my friends and colleagues in New York – this week’s dish on the Park Slope Mommies was the most delicious…never enough on Park Slope (so glad Gawker doesn’t charge by the minute.) Dutifully, each Sunday I read the front page of the NYTimes and then the business section. Finally, after paying my dues, Sunday Style presents itself like a cat in heat. Of course, by the time I’m...

Lemonade Stand Squeezed By Recession

2008-05-17T22:33:58-05:00

Our neighbors’ house was on a homes tour this Saturday, and the children decided to capitalize on the long lines of hot patrons waiting in the sun. A simple plan to peddle lemonade expanded to include brownies, lemon squares and cookies. To encourage their little entrepreneurial spirit, I happily purchased the supplies, which didn’t seem like much. However, I conducted an experiment and found interesting results. The children – well, one of the children who gypped the other child out of his share of the profits, even though he dutifully performed as the “ice man” for 3 hours – made a profit of $47.00. Ever so ironically, when I calculated the cost of the supplies, the total was $47.79. Essentially,...

Transgendered Polygamists, Just Greedy

2008-05-13T00:03:37-05:00

Just when I’m ready for bed after a 90-minute massage and a hot bath, The Professor casually lets slip a comment about his transgendered teaching assistant. Now I have to spend the next twenty minutes writing a post that will more than likely lead to more questions than answers. Most importantly, why didn’t The Professor race home the very day last August when he met said transgendered person and tell me about her…him. I need to know these things! When quizzed, The Professor said that he didn’t think it was important. Honestly, he is genuinely oblivious to life’s ticking heartbeat. The transgendered person’s name is Emerald. Sounds awfully feminine. Does she look like a girl who used to be a...

God Poured Coffee On My Head

2008-05-08T22:42:55-05:00

Why would God dump a grande, nonfat, two Sweet & Low, latte right on top of my freshly washed and carefully coiffed hair? Does (s)he hate me, or was (s)he trying to get my attention because all the other times (s)he tried to make a point I didn’t listen? Earlier in the morning I had ignored God when (s)he made me bump into the kitchen counter and bruise my hip, or when (s)he jammed my finger into the chair and bent my fingernail backward. Possibly by flooding my hair with hot sticky coffee God made me breakdown and scream, “I can’t do this anymore!!” It was a typical morning. The children wouldn’t wake up, despite the fact they had slept...

Cash For A Cosmo Girl

2008-05-02T11:23:31-05:00

After years of working late into the night on essays, projects and tests while begging off weekend parties and social time-wasters, our smarty-pants daughter graduated valedictorian. Neat. “What did she get for that honor?” my mother probed “A silver bowl, “ I replied.Now at a wood-paneled northeastern college, our daughter maintains a 4.0 while pushing back her warm blanket on cold mornings to practice with the rowing team. We’re so proud of her that we don’t mind paying tuition that equals the annual average annual income of 139 Afghanistan families. SmartGirl has declared a science-based major and is an eager participant and organizer within the department. In contrast to our over-achiever, I recently reviewed 500-word scholarship applications that awarded $5,000...

Teaching: Makes Living Dangerous

2008-05-02T10:49:48-05:00

MONDAY: The Professor gets an email from the dean (or some high ranking school official) saying that one of his students had been suspended and that he is to give the kid an incomplete grade. The email further stated that the student was not allowed to return to campus. THEN, the email said something to the effect of “I know you probably have questions about what is going on. Here is the student’s telephone number if you want to call him.” TUESDAY: It’s not that The Professor is callous, but he’s just not one to chat on the phone, nor is he interested in hearing a personal story (unlike me who would have called the kid the minute I got...